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Funny Christmas Greetings

Make the Christmas celebration the memorable one this year by cracking jokes and sending funny Christmas greetings with your friends that will tickle their funny bone. We have every type of funny merry Christmas greetings and Christmas greetings funny. Get the unique funny Christmas greetings messages. Here you will find the latest funny Christmas greetings message and funny Christmas greeting. Live life to its fullest, always smile, remain happy and also try to make others smile.

Funny Merry Christmas Greeting Messages

Holidays are exhausting. Ho Ho! Keep calm and enjoy Christmas!

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Santa wont be coming this year… He died laughing when you said you been a good girl. Have a Merry Christmas

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Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered.

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Merry Christmas! HO-HO-HO!

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My goal this Christmas is to be on both lists: Naughty and Nice.

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Christmas is a time when you get homesick - even when you’re home.

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Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

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Man will live for ever Because of Christmas (Because of Christmas Day drinking) Merry Christmas to you

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When you stop believing in Santa Claus is when you start getting clothes for Christmas!

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What’s the best thing about being a kid at Christmas? Not having to pay for all of your Christmas gifts.

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Hope your Christmas is the "M" word (Merry)!!!

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Hope your Christmas is out of this world!

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You stink! You smell like beef and cheese! You don’t smell like Santa!

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Christmas is a race to see which gives out first – your money or your feet.

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Low on Christmas cheer? Do what I do: ask Santa to bring you some cheerleaders!

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Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

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Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone's sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!

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People went to midnight mass not to hear mass, but to let their seatmates hear their snores.

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Christmas shopping for your parents is easy. Just buy them clothes you wouldn’t get caught dead in.

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People say Fat Tuesday is like Christmas for alcoholics. That’s ridiculous, everybody knows Christmas is Christmas for alcoholics.

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The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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Hasn't Santa ever heard of Diet Coke and the treadmill?

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I’m hoping for a magical Christmas this year. I'm hoping all my relatives will magically disappear.

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Sometimes I wish I was a bird: I would fly over certain people and shit on their heads.

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Is Santa so busy that he cannot find time to groom himself? I think he needs to shave his beard.

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Dearest Santa I promise I will never bitch
about anyone please get me....ah nah,
forget it, I'll get it for myself!


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Christmas is one day when girls get to kiss boys
to wish them without being called a slut!


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Christmas gifts are lovely, only when you
are not the one paying for them though!


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It's all fun and games 'till Santa checks the Naughty List...
Can't wait to see your gift by Christmas!


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Wishing you season's eatings and a bloody good New Year!
Do not expect Santa
They all are Drunk and flat
Merry Christmas without gifts


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I think Santa should hire giants instead of
elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts.


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I am so excited to wear my new dress today
just to see that my Godparents were out of their house.


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Hold peace, love and hope in your heart always
And Christmas will bring you what you wish for.


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Christmas shopping is awesome,
only when it is for you.


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Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve.
Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.


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Sugar 'n Spice makes Christmas nice!


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"Sorry kids, Santa died. But the good news is now
you can listen to Santana songs instead of Santa songs at Christmas time."


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I stopped believing in Santa Claus at the age of 5

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Dearest God, this Christmas I planned on going green.
So please get the point and send my lots of cash this Christmas.
Thank you!


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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.
~Larry Wilde


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Christmas is truly full of wonders.
It makes all of my savings disappear!
That is the Christmas magic
Merry Christmas


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Christmas has been canceled! And it's your fault
because I told Santa you had been good and he died laughing!


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I wish everybody has a Happy Christmas and I hope the Food Pantry People have a lot of food to give to people at Christmas.


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Hey you two over there,
It's the old, bearded guy and his silly reindeer!
We're here to bring you holiday cheer
And wishes for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


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I think Santa should hire giants instead of elves so that he can have a faster production of gifts.


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I think Santa must ride a plane instead of sleigh so that he can reach me faster.
I oftentimes fell asleep waiting for him.


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Yippee! Another day again to receive, receive, and receive!


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Christmas is mostly for children. But we adults can enjoy it too, until the credit card bills arrive.


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Christmas carolers sing about peace on
earth, but they don’t tell us where


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A Christmas candle is a lovely thing
It makes no noise at all,But softly
gives itself away While quite unselfish
it grows small


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Christmas trees are like boobs
Fake ones r nice to look at
but real ones are better


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Dear Santa, so what i have
done mayhave been bad but
I pretty sure breaking and
entering and stealing peoples
food is worse So lets call it even


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It is the Holiday season
and everyone is jolly
until you walk in Walmart


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I sure hope you like your Christmas gift
It's a year's supply of me!


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Is reading through statuses,
che8cking them twice, gonna find out
whos "NAUGHTY" or "NICE"!


Santa iz just like every other man
Comes and goes in less than 5 min
eats ur food,calls u a Ho
leaves before you get up.


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Christmas iz truly a magical time
Its made all my money disappear



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Dear Santa, after 30 years
of no delivery, just keep the damn pony.
I just want a winning lottery ticket in a
decent currency with a jackpot $100 million.


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The best times are
with your dysfunctional
family during the holidays.


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If some fat man snatches you
up and puts you in a bag, don't worry,
it's Santa collecting his HOs for Christmas.
I'm sending this from his bag..bring alcohol!


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Rudolph the red nosed reindeer,
had a very shiny nose, and if you ever saw it.
you're either drunk or at the north pole.


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Boy I better get started
shopping for Christmas!
It is only 5 months away..


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Santa is very cheerful because he knows where all the bad girls live.

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You know you are getting old, when Santa starts looking younger.

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The one thing women don't wish for to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

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funny christmas greetings